Isn’t it funny how God often sends people into your life at the perfect time, even if it’s for a few minutes? I know we’ve all been there. When we’ve had a tough day or a difficult week and something happens that gives us just enough joy to press on to the next day.
Depression is very real, often tangible. I don’t talk about it much, but it affects me. And many other pastors I might add. We try to put on brave faces for our congregations and our families, but inside it often feels like we are little kids sitting in the corner, trembling with our blanket pulled up to our noses as shadows dance all around us. Exhausted from trying to outrun it, I often feel like it just consumes me.
One of my attempts to outrun it this week was on the bike trail. When I feel a depressive episode coming on, one of my first “go-to’s” to combat it is to jump on my bike, throw in my ear buds with Biblical podcast, and get my blood pumping. While I was out, an older gentleman stopped to stretch with me. He began asking me where I am from, how long I have been riding, and what I do for a living. He began to encourage me and to “keep riding.” He even gave me a swig from his water bottle, as I had forgotten mine. He rode off without even telling me his name. He didn’t know (or maybe he did), but I needed him in that moment.
The next episode this week happened at church when I had to call the police to mitigate a family feud. One mom called up her five boys to “teach a lesson,” which caused all kinds of grief for the other women and children that were on site, as the boys were lurking around outside just waiting for their target to come outside. After attempting to calm the situation myself, being cussed out, and talking with my ministry teammates, the ring leader came in to directly threaten the family. Anxiety soaring, I called the police, upon which the boys immediately fled the church.
Pastor Hill offered some comforting words, which helped to calm me down, but then God sent in his special agent: a thirteen-year-old girl, who I had the pleasure of sponsoring when she was baptized seven years ago. I gave her a gift on that wonderful day. A stuffed Curious George with a book containing my favorite little monkey stories from my childhood.
As that night wore down, she came up to me with her big brown eyes and said, “Pastor, will you read to me like you used to?” How do you say ‘no’ to that request? She handed me a copy of “Curious George Rides A Bike” and rested her head on my shoulder. I begin to read and almost instantly my anxiety dropped as joy filled my soul to the brim. She didn’t know (or maybe she did), but I needed her in that moment.
God never fails to provide for us.
My father reminded me of a story this week. 1 Kings 19 documents the story of Elijah fleeing from the terrible Jezebel. Elijah ends up under a broom tree (v. 4). “It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life, for I am no better than my fathers,” Elijah cries. And he sleeps, something I did a lot of this week. But then an angel appears to him, offering him food and drink. This happens a second time, which gives Elijah the strength to go for forty days to Horeb.
Turns out that when Elijah battled depression, God sent someone to just be with him. To comfort him. Which was exactly what I needed this week. The conversation of mystery man and the love of a child. Not to fix the issue, but to simply bring comfort and rest. And that’s okay.
God never fails to provide. He has given us His one and only son, Jesus the Christ, Lord of the Sabbath, who has promised to be with us, even in our depression and anxiety.
Always.
Rev. Tyler Cronkright 