Power Of Listening

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Have you ever asked yourself in a moment of crisis, “What can I do?” Certainly you’ve had that moment. Someone’s world is crumbling around them while they sit on the curb with ash, fire, and smoke swirling around them. And you’re left watching it happen, feeling completely helpless because there is nothing you can do to fix it. I hate that feeling. Perhaps that’s because I am a fixer. I want to fix things (and people, for that matter). Here’s the rub, though. Sometimes, I can’t fix it. And neither can you.

When you are faced with an unfixable situation in a loved one’s life, there is something that you can do, however. It’s not flashy. It’s not glorious. It’s not magnificent. It’s simple, ordinary, and easy.

You can listen.

This week an older gentleman stopped by Family of God to talk with us. He was wearing his mask, so I didn’t recognize who he was right away. It wasn’t until he began talking that I realized that it was Louis, and old friend from the very small Family of God building of years ago. He had moved away from the neighborhood and his old life (praise God for that). I had all kinds of things to say to him! But he opened his mouth and, as a tear trickled down his cheek, he told us that his wife had died back in February. He had been walking around in a thick dark fog for months, unsure of where to go or what to do. He was lost with no one to talk to. So, he came back to us at Family of God, looking for answers. Almost an hour later, Louis left. I think Pastor Hill and I said a combined 10 to 15 words in the time that he was with us. But Louis didn’t need for us to fix his problem. He needed for us to listen.

Later on in the evening, a young man who we have been mentoring showed up on his mini motorcycle, a prize for his hard work at the taco truck. I had only seen him once in awhile during the last two years, so I had a whole laundry list of topics to talk about with him. We began talking and before I know it he said to me with wholehearted sincerity in his eyes, “I don’t want to be like those other guys.” He proceeds to tell me about how he wants to have a career, how many mistakes he has made, some dark periods, and how so many people have called him “the worst” or “worthless.” My heart broke for him. This was no longer the kid that I used to play basketball with in the back alley, talking about girls. This was a young man that was being molded by the Holy Spirit. As he vented, tears welled up in his eyes but he would turn around and “itch his eye” so that I wouldn’t see. Another 45 minutes later, he gave me a hug and said he’d see me tomorrow. He didn’t need for me to fix his problem. He needed me to listen.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer writes in, arguably his most famous work, Life Together, that “Christians, especially ministers, so often think they must always contribute something when they are in the company of others, that this is the one service they have to render. They forget that listening can be a greater service than speaking.” He pushes this point even further, saying, “Anyone who thinks that his (or her) time is too valuable to spend keeping quiet will eventually have no time for God and his brother, but only for himself and for his own follies.”

There is power in speaking, but we forget that there is also power in listening. We would do well to remember this truth. It’s why James urges us to be quick to listen and slow to speak (1:19). For this is the work of God. We serve a God who not only gives us his Word, but gives us His ear. He sets the example for us by listening to us in our prayers. The Old Testament is littered with God hearing the cries, the prayers, and the praises of His people.

As we learn to listen to our brothers and sisters, we in turn learn to listen to God, Himself. And He listens to you, too, as you “vent,” cry, and rejoice. He listens, He understands, and He loves. We can trust that God hears us because of the power of Christ, who lives to intercede for us (Hebrews 7:25).

Listen to God, listen to your brother. You never know what God can do through that.